Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother gently rubbed cold cream on her face. "Why are you rubbing cold cream on your face, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother. A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"

A 4-year-old son was eating an apple in the back seat of the car, when he asked, "Daddy, why is my apple turning brown?" "Because," his dad explained, "after you ate the skin off, the meat of the apple came into contact with the air, which caused it to oxidize, thus changing the molecular structure and turning it into a different color." There was a long silence. Then the boy asked, "Daddy, are you talking to me?

I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and always, she was correct. But it was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandpa, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"

Mother decided that 10-year-old Cathy should get something 'practical' for her birthday. "Suppose we open a savings account for you?" mother suggested. Cathy was delighted. "It's your account, darling," mother said as they arrived at the bank, "so you fill out the application." Cathy was doing fine until she came to the space for 'Name of your former bank.' After a slight hesitation, she put down 'Piggy.'

An old man is walking through the grocery store and notices a teenager with red, yellow, green, and blue spiked hair in the dairy section. As he is staring at the boy, the teenager looks over at him and says, "What are looking at, old man? Didn't you ever do anything outrageous when you were my age?" The old man ponders for a second, looks at the kid and replies, "Yes, I did. When I was your age, I had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son."